Tuesday, October 8, 2013

New Chapter In My Life

It feels like I've been away forever. And maybe I have been. I apologize for that....things have been super busy for me here. I do have some super, amazing, excited news for all of my beautiful readers out there and make this a special edition blog...

I'M GETTING MARRIED!! August 9th of 2014 I will be marrying the man of my dreams. To say I'm happy would be a severe understatement. We were driving down the road, I was upset about some situation that day and he just asked. Of course I thought he was joking but he was serious and I said yes. Of course I said yes, this is the man I have spent my life waiting for.

So in honor of my engagement, we are both hitting the gym hard for the next 304 days (yes I've started the countdown!) Sunday we met up with a friend and hit the treadmill first. After a mile run warm-up, we hit back and shoulders. Of course I pick this to start back on because my shoulders build so easily. My problem areas are my triceps, my booty and my stomach so every gym session I will be targeting these areas. Abs work and squats are a definite every time. Plus it's time to clean up our diet a little so all the gym work isn't wasted. Right now we will be going every other day with a light gym sesh and hot yoga on Sunday nights. There are also a lot of free classes offered with my gym membership so I'm really looking forward to trying some new fitness things! :) YAYA for getting back on the wagon for a really great cause!

Since this blog is so wedding related already....I am going to post pictures of all my brilliant ideas for my rustic, very small wedding. Also, if anyone has any helpful advice on planning a wedding on a very small budget, feel free to comment or shoot me an email. elizabeth8292@hotmail.com

Lets jump right into this shall we:


These will be the centerpieces. Mason jars and twine. Simple and rustic.

This dress is the style I'm looking for. Shorter with lace sleeves. :)

These shoes. ARE. BEAUTIFUL! They match my colors (turquoise, orange and yellow) and will look amazing with the shorter dress.

 I am working on this for my soon-to-be husband. I will get this delivered with his wedding gift on our big day! He isn't big on doing our own vows, so this will be my way to use my own words!

And this is the cake. My isn't it beautiful. Well without the flowers it is my dream cake and this is the one I will have.

And for the aisle chairs, these will be the decorations. Sunflowers will be in my bouquet also. :)
Now, I have to drop 10 lbs before I go dress shopping and then maintain that for a few months. This should be fun. But I can do it. I'm so excited and stressed but somehow eerily calm. I know this is the perfect thing for me. Now just to make it 304 days still holding it all together.
Question: Any wedding ideas?
DIY projects to make things easier?
Follow my Pinterest board to see all these pictures and articles!

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Remember Where You Came From

Today I want to take a walk down memory lane and look at why and when I started my fitness journey. I haven't been in the mood to do any of the things I love lately and I think looking back at why I started this lifestyle will be the motivation I need to pick it back up.
The first time I ever walked into a weight room was at 18. I was a freshman in college and the gym on campus was designed for women (I went to an all-girls college.) My roommate and I said lets go ride the bikes. That's where it all started. We would spend an hour on the bikes then get ready for our next class. This wasn't a sweat inducing workout at all...I mean we texted and watched TV the whole time. Then one day I went in and it was empty; just me. So instead of getting on the bike I decided to do some basic crunches and free weight squats. This is where my love for the gym come in. College was stressful enough, with 2 jobs it was almost unbearable. So to get some "me" time and release some stress, I would hit the gym. I would go at 1AM when I finished my last shift or get up at 5AM to make it to the gym before the day started. I loved it. I think I would have been less relaxed if the gym had been co-ed. I know even my first time stepping into a gym with men there was intimidating and I had been lifting over a year at that point. When I moved to Iowa, my love for lifting only grew stronger. I still love going into the gym. Pushing myself beyond what I think I can do will never get old and seeing how much my body has changed in just a few years is astonishing.
But a girl can't just lift right? So what was my next big adventure in this fitness journey?
What have I been missing for 19 years of my life. Why didn't anybody tell me how perfect running is? It's a shame I went so long without knowing what it feels like to be in the moment of pure bliss. This is how I feel when I run. Where did this start you may ask? Well one cold rainy morning, I set my alarm earlier than usual. For whatever reason, I rolled out of bed, put on the only pair of tennis shoes I had and hit the door.
Believe it or not, I used to say this ALL the time. And I meant it. That one day changed it all. And it was awful. The whole entire MILE I ran was slow, cold with a lot of walking. And you wanna know what, I really have improved that much since then. I know I know I'm not giving myself credit. That very first mile last about 18 minutes. And for someone who never ran a day in their life, I thought that was amazing. Over the last 2 1/2 years, I have bought actual running shoes, a GPS watch, an arm band for my phone and sports bras. I know these things don't make a person a runner but for me these things help me run better. I have slowly increased my mileage over this time span...from one mile to 3 or 4 miles. I'm not a distance runner...yet. Trust me, this post already makes me want to get out there and log a good 10 miles. I love running. I love races because the moment you cross that finish line is a feeling that only a runner can describe. Running never takes more than it gives and it requires no special skills or equipment. Running is running. As humans, we are built to run. I think a lot of people forget that or fail to realize it. I know I did for 19 years. All it takes is that 1st step out the door and you're hooked. I know there are some days when stepping out that door feels just as hard as it did the 1st time I did it. I also know that there have been a few miles that felt exactly as daunting as that very first one but as runners we keep going. We learn to analyze what went wrong, what we could have done better and then just leave it. When we hit the pavement, we give it our very best and then leave it on the pavement when we're done.I have a feeling 5AM runs need to start happening more often.

Ok so we have weight lifting, running....what else can you do? What more do you want to put your body through? This last thing is my reward to my body. It is my way of saying thank you for all that you have do and will do. This wonderful thing I'm talking about it yoga. I remember the very first time I stepped into the only hot yoga studio in Cedar Falls IA. My friend had asked me to join her for a yoga class. Why not? I had always done light stretching for lifting and running but an actual class. What could it hurt? Plus the 1st time was free...so I wasn't losing anything if I didn't like it. What my friend had failed to mention was I would be in what felt like a 2x4 box with other people in a 105 degree room. I was shocked and thought "OH HELL NO!" Little did I know that I would find more peace within myself in that one hour that I have ever in my life. I felt every ounce of stress, pain and worry melt off my skin just like butter...because I know butter would melt in that room really fast! :)
AND I WAS HOOKED. It's funny how all these things are addicting. The endorphins are like a fix that you have to have all the time. Yoga is that fix for me. After lifting and running, the best way I can repay my body is melting into my yoga mat and deep breathing until everything is all ok again. Yoga has helped me in so many ways, with little worries to major life decisions. I know when I need the answer to something, I just have to roll out my yoga mat and go to that place where it all makes sense. I've moved away from the hot yoga studio, the price is a little too steep for me. But I have moved it into my living room where I grow stronger and experiment with what I can do. I love yoga so much I have Namaste tattooed on my spine to remind me that I am one with the universe and everyone in it.

All these milestones in my life have lead me to this. I haven't ran since the Warrior Dash...in July. Part of the reason is because I didn't train/hydrate/prepare for that race to be as intense as it was. I was dehydrated and delusional by the end of the race and I knew I would need time to recover. Now I'm recovered (have been for a while) and just can't seem to hop back into it.
I haven't lifted in three months (SAD SAD SAD.) My gym membership ran out and I just haven't gotten a new one. This def. needs to happen sooner than later.
Yoga: Oh my sweet yoga! This  is one thing I haven't abandoned. I do this as often as I can and especially whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed.

So this is my journey. And I know it will continue, I have no doubt about that. I love fitness way too much to ever give it up! We're just going through a rough patch right now, a breathing period if I can. :)

Unrelated news: I start fertility testing on Monday. Fingers crossed all goes well.

Question of the day: When was a major fitness milestone for you?

Monday, September 16, 2013

Feeling the Burn

Ah my legs are extremely sore today. On top of my legs being sore, my desk job left me sitting all day so I couldn't stretch them out properly! So now they are like balled up and twisted! 

And I love it! I miss the feeling of being sore after a great workout. All of this is from my hot filled weekend at Sol Yoga! 
Saturday I did hot yoga how the 1st time in months...and it was just as great as I remembered! Sunday I woke up bright and early for my 1st ever barre method class...and I am in love! I have to do it again! The core work is phenomenal and my legs felt like they were going to snap off from the squats and lift we did on class. It's upbeat, energetic and so much fun! The perfect way to start out a Sunday morning! I'm used to the heat from my times at hot yoga but I was up and moving and even dancing a little! I cannot wait to go back. :) 

A few days ago I was practicing yoga and finally nailed a pose I've been working on for a while. I love seeing my strength grow with each practice, whether it's running, weight training or yoga! 

Today I walk with my new puppy. She's 8 weeks old and she can't run quite yet but she's getting there. We jogged a little but mostly walked and that was ok! We will get up to running in time. I love having a new waking/running buddy. She doesn't talk, quiet and stubborn at times. :) 

I'm still trying to implement the new changes in my life, it gets easier every day! It's nice to look at the positives even with all the negativity in the world. 

Tonight my heart goes out to all the families effected by the shooting at the Navy base today. Such heartless crimes make me so sad. I don't understand the world full of hate and never will. Prayers will be headed that way tonight! 

Question of the day: Are you a lone runner or do you enjoy having someone to run with? 

It depends on the day but most of the time I will run further if I have somebody with me. 

Friday, September 13, 2013

Steps In the Right Direction

HELLO! It's Friday...thank goodness! I have waited for this day for an entire week :)

Today, I want to talk about things I am going to start TRYING to change in my life. These aren't big changes for Me to make but I have a feeling they are going to make a huge change in my life...positive changes.

If you have read my recent blog post, they haven't really been upbeat, cheery happy blogs! Some may say they are downright depressing (Sorry blog readers!!) 2013 has been a rough road for me with more pot holes than I would ever care for. But this post isn't about the negativity. This post is about me becoming a more positive person and finding the person I used to be, before life knocked me on my side.

Things I am going to start changing in my life to be a more positive person:

1. Stop looking back at the past, stop looking and worrying about the future.
I am the worst at never living in the moment. It doesn't matter what the situation, I am usually looking ahead to plan the disaster that is more than likely never going to happen. This causes a lot of anxiety and unwanted sadness in my life that can easily be eliminated. I need to start catching myself every time I start removing myself from the moment. Do you know how many potential memories I miss out on by not really being in the moment. I basically live my day-to-day life days ahead. I will stop this.

2. Stop trying to please everyone else and putting others happiness ahead of mine.
Guilty Guilty Guilty is how I plead to this! I am so guilty of putting myself on the back burner for the people I love. At first you may think it's not a bad thing, to be so unselfish and giving to others. But what happens when you no longer know how to make yourself happy without the happiness of someone else. If that makes sense?! My favorite thing to say is "Oh what makes me happy? Making other people happy." STOP IT! If you cannot make yourself happy, how can you possibly make others happy? I have to start putting myself 1st every once in a while.

3. Stop blaming someone new for the things someone in the past did.
This is a huge one for me. Past relationships have taught me to keep my guard up and one foot out the door and over the years this has become a habit. Always ready to run, that's me! And I always seem to keep anyone new at arms length....never really letting them get close enough. And we won't even talk about trusting. But from this day forward, I will let those walls down and open up because if I don't, I'll keep living in the past. Time to let it all go and realize not everyone is going to hurt me...some people really do want to be in my life for me and that's all!

4. Stop falling off the damn wagon.
I feel like I always fall off the fitness wagon. Not on purpose, but I just slip and slip until BOOM I'm on the ground looking at the dust that used to be my fitness goals. I know there are a lot of people out there who experience the same thing but it's still no fun starting back over. I always think, if I had kept going I wonder how far I would be now! It always takes something big to get me back on the wagon. Like my clothes magically "shrinking" for the 1st time in years. I can only blame it on the dryer so long before I have to face the cold hard fact that I am getting fluff in areas that really don't need any more fluff. The 1st step to reaching this goal is to get a new pair of running shoes since my pair got destroyed in the Warrior Dash (which I still need to do a post on, I promise it's coming!) So I'm looking at a pair of Brooks stability shoes because the girl at the runners' store told me they work best for my severe pronation. Just one thing is standing in the way of this goal...I'm a working gal with bills and $150.00 for running shoes is better spent elsewhere. So...If any of you ladies have ANY suggestions what-so-ever for shoes that are comparable to Brooks but don't require a 2nd job, PLEASE PLEASE comment and let me know!

5. Figure out what I want to do with my life!
This is my biggest problem/worry/fear is that I'm going to spend my life rotting in a desk chair. Yes, I am college degree holding woman that has no idea what I want to do with my life! I am standing here at 21 years old spinning in circles with a very confused look on my face. I know it needs to be fitness related. I am so passionate about fitness and nutrition, this has to be involved in my life. When I talk about these things I get excited and passionate! So, yes I know all the fields I can enter into..I just have to stop procrastinating. So this is another thing I am changing in my life...starting right now!!

All of these positive changes and new mindsets have me dizzy but excited. To start off my new way of thinking, I am hitting up the hot yoga studio this weekend for a hot yoga session tomorrow morning and trying something new, the hot barre method class Sunday morning. I'm so excited and all classes are free this weekend to celebrate the year anniversary of the cedar valley's 1st ever Hot Yoga Studio. Check out http://www.solhotyoga.com/Home_Page.html to see what classes they offer, if you will be in the Cedar Falls area this weekend! Let me know if you're going to stop in the early AM classes!!

And now to bombarded you with my favorite Pins from this week....well because it's my blog and I can! ENJOY!

So I NEED this for my fall/winter running! I will have it just wait :D

New hair cut? I think so!!!

Words to live by!

There has never been anything more true!


Question of the day: Have you made any positive changes in your life lately?

Anyone know of any great, cheap stability running shoes?

Thursday, September 5, 2013


A must read for all those 20something people out there reading this:


The Topic No One Discusses But Should...

Life lately has been....frustrating to say the least.

Sorry I have been away for a while. Work has been slammed, home has been more about relaxing and just taking my mind off all the outside things in life. I know it's better to face your problems head on but I feel like burying my head in the sand is a much better approach right now.

As some of you may know, I have been struggling with infertility issues for 32 months now. It's not an easy subject to talk about but it's an issue that should be talked about more often. Life struggling with infertility isn't easy. While many women can try and succeed, women who struggle with infertility issues aren't so lucky. We get it in our mind that we want a baby, try and try and try with no luck. There is no way to describe the frustration, anger and hatred that come out of a life in infertility. You are frustrated month after month when nature takes its course with no baby in sight. Anger because you have no idea WHY and you blame yourself for not being able to do the one thing you were designed to do. All women should be able to have a baby. It's what our bodies were designed to do. You grow to hate yourself more than you ever thought possible. This is where the hatred comes in. You hate yourself, you hate other women who can so easily get pregnant, you hate families that have kids to spare; you hate everything.

As you can probably imagine, this takes a huge toll on your life. You slowly start to isolate yourself away from anyone and everything. The way I see it, no one wants to be with someone they can't start a family with. Who is going to love me? I am broken beyond repair. Then you get the rare glimpses, the person who says it's what they want...they will try for a few months but then you start to isolate yourself again. Push yourself away from that person until the relationship cannot stand anymore. Then you're left alone. This cycle just repeats and repeats. I blame myself; it's my fault. I can't give them what they want, they should go find someone who can. Then you start to feel like you don't deserve anything special because you will just destroy their life in the process.

People will say, "Oh give it time." "It will happen." "God has a plan for you." "It just isn't your time." All these words make me even more angry. Don't try to make the situation better. Don't try to soothe me with your weak words. That is not going to work...unless you have been through this battle, you have no idea what I am going through. The best thing to say is nothing. Just nod if I'm venting and take it for what it's worth. No words will help me at this point. In the beginning, I believed these words. They were my comfort in my darkest days. Now, after 32 months of struggling and failing, these words mean nothing to me.

On top of all of this, I did receive a blessing. In February of this year, I found out I was pregnant. My first positive pregnancy test in a little over 2 years. To say I was happy is an understatement. In that instant, I planned a whole entire life. From the first breath to the wedding day I knew what I wanted. 3 months later, waiting to hear the heartbeat, I was told there was none. If you've ever experienced a loss that makes you literally feel your heart breaking I am sorry. When you hear those words, it's like the earth stops moving. You go deaf and blind all at the same time and the only thing you can feel is your world falling apart. There is no way to describe the pain I felt that day, or still do to this day. I put on the biggest smile and I laugh but the person I was before I was told my baby had died is gone. I will never get her back. Looking back, I miss that person. She was truly happy. The kind of happy that radiated in a room, happy in a way that people would gravitate towards me to steal just a little of that light. That's not me anymore. My happiness is forced and anyone who used to want to be around me no longer does. I have dulled to the point of nonexistence. To have your every blessing given to you and then ripped away is not fair. They say life is not fair, but this is unimaginable. The cruelty behind that plan just sucked the life right out of me. When my baby died, so did I. Or the person that I was anyways.

Today, I have an amazing man. He is by my side for all of these moments and he has no idea what he does to me. He slowly brings out the old me. He makes me forget my worries and cares for just a little while and that is enough. That is the greatest thing he can give to me and he doesn't even know it.

But how long will it last? How long until he realizes I'm too broken to repair? Of course I am prepared for the moment he realizes it...I always will be. I'll spend at least a few moments every day bracing myself for the impact. As positive as I try to be, the negativity consumes me. Will he ever see that I go through the motions every day because I have to not because I really want to? Ever hear the pain behind every laugh and the pain behind my eyes? I have began dreaming about our son and he is so sweet and perfect in my mind. He has his eyes and nose and hair and he is beyond beautiful. But that's the pitfall in my life...hope, dreams and wishes.

To help cope with all these feelings, I am trying to make it a priority to do yoga every night. I just set up my mat in the living room and find the place where my heart, mind and soul collide. This time is for me and I am very selfish with it, but I deserve it. Even this little thing makes the days a little brighter. I get to push my body and shut down the internal monologue that consumes my life, even for a little while. Also, nothing beats snuggling on the couch (even when I should be doing something more productive!) :)

I know all of this is a lot to take in at once. But welcome to my life. I didn't know about sharing this because it is so personal. These are the thoughts I keep to myself and only drag out in the depths of the night (probably why I can't sleep to save my life!) But the whole reason for this post is to help. Maybe there is someone out there who feels the same way I do. Or maybe there's someone who can help shed light on how to move past this and start to be more positive.

They say God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. The one positive note is that I know I am strong. I have been dragged through Hell and back repeatedly but I'm still standing. I may be broken and more than once I've hit my knees thinking I would never give up but each morning I wake up knowing I can face whatever is thrown at me because I have been through some terrible things and it hasn't killed me yet.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Down To The Wire!

I woke up this morning only to realize in 2 days I will be driving to my death. Yes, that's right I'm talking about the Warrior Dash!! 2 days? How did that happen? It's here so fast and I am now beginning to mentally freak out  prepare!A co-worker, who actually introduced me to the race this year, informed me that the beginning is a big...huge...monstrous hill! I hate hills and I did no hill running in preparation. But on a happy note....

Yup. I sort of had a melt down over my time/not being prepared/failing at running on Weds. night but I realized something. I AM IN CONTROL! I can push myself as far as I want. It's all a mental game and on Saturday I will be the master of my mind.

So, my goals for Saturday are as followed:
1. HAVE FUN!!!!!!!
2. Get across the finish line.
That's it. Since this will be my 1st Warrior Dash I have no idea what to expect. I don't want to place a time limit on myself when I don't know what the course is going to be like. So I am going to go and have fun and not be so hard on myself. It's supposed to be an exciting race and I want to be apart of that.
Next big plans for me after the Warrior Dash? Well I have to get a new pair of running shoes. I pronate so badly and it is causing pain during and after every run now. I'm not doing high-mileage either, averaging about 2.5 miles a run. I was planning a 10K at the beginning of September but I will hold off on that until I can get the perfect pair of shoes for me. I do plan on running 2 more 5K fun runs, both Zombie runs in October. I'll just designate this the year of fun runs. Next year, I plan on running a few 10K, working on my mileage over winter so I can be in top-prime running shape by next summer. That's way too much planning ahead. I have no idea what God has in store for me or what the next few months will bring, all I know is I want to run until it's impossible to do it anymore. I want to run for those who can't and for those who won't ever get to.
So today when you go for your run, think about this. And push yourself a little harder. You would be amazed at how much further you can go when you push yourself beyond your comfort zone.
 Question: Have you ever done a Warrior Dash? What should I expect?


Thursday, August 8, 2013

Today I Am Thankful

If any of you are like me, you get so caught up in the negative of life. At the end of the day, I seem to pick out the worst situations that happened throughout the day instead of the positive. So today I woke up and my first thought was how thankful I am. Then I started thinking about all the things I am thankful for and I decided I would share them with you. Maybe you could return the favor and tell me some of the things you are thankful for in your life!

Today I am thankful for:
The fact that I woke up this morning. I know somewhere out there, someone didn't get that option and I am so thankful to be able to get another chance, another day.

For all the pain and suffering I have been through. When I hear people say things like "God doesn't give you anything you can't handle" or "God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldier," I am proud of my struggles. I have survived my heart being ripped out in the worst way possible, and I overcome it with more hope than I have ever had. This year has been one of the roughest yet. Unlucky # 13 for me I guess. But through it all my faith has held strong and even though I don't know the reason behind it all, God has a bigger plan for me than I have for myself.

For anyone who has lost a child, please check out the resources at www.sayinggoodbye.com
I am thankful for the ability to run. I have went on two amazing runs this weeks and I am falling back in love with it. I ran my best times of the year and it felt so good to push myself. I have been off for a few weeks, for no particular reason I just haven't had the desire to lace up my shoes. Monday I just felt the urge to get outside and run. Around 8 PM, it cools off enough here to feel perfect for running. I threw on my shoes, put my headphones in and took off. For the 1st time ever, I ran the first .61 miles with no walking breaks. This is an amazing accomplishment for me and I was so happy. I finished the first mile in 11.something minutes and was on top of the world. Last year, I was running 8 minute miles but this year, I haven't been able to do better than 13-14 minutes. I ran a little over 2.5 miles and finished in 29 minutes. I was out of breath, exhausted and exhilarated. It reminded me of my very first run, where I fell in love with it. I took Tuesday off but laced up last night for a "short" run. This time, I ran the whole block without walking and then I hear "Mile 1: 9.37 minutes." I almost started jumping there on the sidewalk. I finished up with 2.15 miles in 24 minutes. My split time wasn't the best because I ran the 1st mile too fast. I need to settle in a 10-minute/mile pace and get comfortable there but I'm excited to do that!! Who's ready for their run tonight? I know I am!!
Some other things I am thankful for today:
  •  The fact that a full tank of gas lasted me exactly 2 weeks. :)
  •  New love.
  •  Payday is tomorrow.
  •  Thursday is actually my favorite day of the week (the weekends not included!)
  •  A new haircut tomorrow. It's going to be a surprise...maybe even to myself.
  •  Being productive. I finally made my dentist appointment today...even though I'm already dreading it.
I hope everyone that reads this can see the positive in today!

Question of the day: Tell me what you are thankful for today!?

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Happy Hump-Day Thoughts!

Just some random thoughts running through my mind this morning:

1: Why am I eating ANOTHER pack of Reese's peanut butter cups? Last night I had a king size pack (that's 4 for all the fitties out there who aren't bouncing down the loserville path to fatness!) And today I had a normal sized pack (2) right after my oatmeal. A balanced breakfast right? And what's even worse...I had peanut butter cups! They taste like artificial peanut butter filled pockets of sadness.
I could devour all of these...NOW!
2: Liz, why are you stressing everything? STOP! RIGHT NOW! (Yes I'm yelling at myself.) I have the worst habit of analyzing situations that will probably never happen. Like years in advance. I know I need to focus on the here and now but that's easier said than done for me. And the thing is, sometimes, in the midst of my "over reaction" I feel like I'm looking at myself thinking..."What is your problem? Calm your a$% down!" I am working through it today and just telling myself to trust whatever God has in plan for me. Nothing I do is more important than what he is doing for me and my life! So, to myself, stop stressing and enjoy the moments. These are the good times...sit back and enjoy the ride!!
If the fairy godmother says it, I must listen!
3: I want tattoos and I want them right now! I don't even want to think about it. If you don't have any, I would advise against getting any at all. Because when they say you can't have just one, they ARE NOT lying to you! It is an addiction...and I don't ever want to be cured. I am perfectly happy with this addiction...the pain goes away fairly fast (depending on location.) For me the pain stops as soon as the needle does. And a few minutes later, I'm ready for another one. I have 2 so far! Here are just a few of the ones I have my eye on.
Just beautiful!
For my well being and yogi love! :)
For me, this is the meaning behind life. Find your passion in this world and let it kill you.

This would go on my shoulder and would be the start to my sleeve!
Ah the addiction! The love!
Today is about finding my inner peace and being ok with the uncertain. I have to realize I never know when my time is up, so why spend any moment unhappy? Or at least not stress over everything!! Clarity is amazing!
Question: Tell me a thought you are having today?! Weird. Silly. Serious. I want to hear them all :)


Tuesday, July 30, 2013

What Do I Do Now?

Ok, if you do not love this woman you can leave this blog now! (No, seriously who doesn't love Zoey?) Since Saturday, I have found myself sucked into Netflix watching the entire 1st season of New Girl. I know, I am a little behind but I'm caught up now! And I'm hooked. Last night I finished watching the last episode and I had to look around and ask, what to do with my life now? I have been lost in this show for 3 days now....oh yea maybe I should start back on my training since I now have 25 days until the warrior dash. You heard me right 25 DAYS! Where is the time going my friends? I could not be more pumped up and excited about this race, mentally. Physically, I am getting fluffy in places I hate fluff and I silently hear my muscles deteriorating while I try to sleep. SO i have to kick my training into TURBO drive and really start kicking my own ass. I have lost accountability but no worries my friend. We all fall off the wagon, I will get back on!!
It's almost August?! Why didn't anyone warn me that the older I get, the faster time goes. Not during the day because my office job is like the pits of hell (I can imagine with all that heat the day goes pretty slow), but looking back it's all a blur. A big, confused filled blur that will forever go down in the history books as THE WORST YEAR ever. But in all seriousness, where is the time going. I keep looking ahead thinking...Christmas is only 5 months away now! And I despise Christmas. Not the holiday per say but the way people act around Christmas.

Wow, this blog is getting random fast!! What my point is supposed to be is I need a new focus in life. I have long ago come to the conclusion that office work was not for me and I really want to do something in the fitness industry. Professional bikini modeling is always an idea....but I would actually have to be able to wear a bikini for that to happen. I want to teach, motivate, take my passion for fitness and place it gently upon others shoulders. Is that too much to ask? So basically, I want to be a trainer. A yoga teacher? Maybe I even want to cook and teach others how to eat healthy.

You see my dilemma. Also, I haven't researched any of this. I know some take degrees....I'll go to school. And they take money....that resource is limited to almost everyone but I could make it work. Time....well I have some of that free and I've never been shy of a lot going on at once. Just where to begin. I'll start will finding out how much time and money these things will take. I could be a super time master and do them all at once ;) buuuttt...that's not going to happen. I will do some research and then write about how and what it will take to do all of these things. Oh, how I love research :)

So today, I will pull together all my resources and I will figure out which option is practical in my life. If I have to be a full time student, that isn't practical. If it cost hundreds of dollars, again not practical. But we shall see!

Question of the day: How are you guys? Still hanging on the wagon for dear life? Do you know anything about getting into the fitness field?

Thursday, July 25, 2013

The Tough Side of Blogging

When I started this blog, I had to choose between blogging strictly about fitness and health or including personal aspects from my life in it. Today I will open up and share with you an experience....maybe my words will help someone else or someone else's words can help me. This is not fitness related and is a touchy subject for some so if you want now, turn around and leave! I will be back with fitness post soon!
So here we go....a glimpse inside!

Yesterday my strength was test beyond any point I ever imagined. If you've been following along with my journey you will know I've had quite a few medical issues this year. To the point that I will not look back on 2013 with many fond memories. In January, I conceived. To say this was a shock would be an understatement. At this point, we had been trying for 2 years to get pregnant. After the shock wore off there was PURE BLISS! I had this child's life planned in a single day. I did everything in my power to make my body as healthy as possible. No processed food, only organic food, only the best prenatal vitamins plus all other vitamins and supplements the doctor recommended. Being a vegan and being pregnant wasn't ideal but I stuck to my beliefs. I was so exhausted all the time; being pregnant, working and taking care of 2 kids was not good on my body at all. I could never get enough energy, sometimes breathing was hard. But I cherished every moment of it. I don't think my hand left my stomach for 3 1/2 months. After all the testing, medicine, shots, and negative pregnancy test, this was everything I ever wanted and more! Nothing could bring me down from this cloud. On April 15th we went in to hear the heartbeat and get an ultrasound. As I'm laying on the table, more nervous and excited than I've been in my whole life, nothing happens. The doctor gives me a quick worried look and the suggest an ultrasound. With the excuse that my cervix sits too far back, she left the room to order the ultrasound. At 2pm, I went back in for the abdominal ultrasound. After 15 minutes of searching, nothing. "Well maybe you just aren't as far along as we think." Those words do little to reassure me as I feel the tears crawling up my throat. The next step was a vaginal ultrasound. 20 minutes later I am sent upstairs to wait for the results. As I type this, I relive the moment when she told me the pregnancy was viable. As the words come out of her mouth I broke down. I couldn't hold it in anymore. This was the 1st time I have literally felt my heart break. I knew at that moment, my life would never be the same. Anyone who has ever been through this knows the exact feeling I am talking about! Nothing will ever fix that hurt. The very next day, I get the phone call comes from NC that my great-grandma had passed away. I was so mad at everything at this point. I was so pissed off I didn't sleep, I didn't eat...I mourned in the worst way possible. On Monday, I started miscarrying. After 2 weeks of bleeding, it got so bad I went to the ER. By the time I got there, I was severely anemic and I needed an emergency D & C to stop the bleeding. I was in the hospital about 10 hours and had to go home. Having lost my baby was bad enough; having to deal with it every d&*^ day is enough to make anyone lose their mind. It's a constant reminder that you will never get to be a mother. The one thing you always wanted has been ripped away from you. How is this even fair? Why me? And peoples "words of wisdom" only pissed me off more. "Well maybe there was something wrong with it." "It will happen when it's supposed to." "God this and God that." Nothing anyone says makes the pain better. The pain will never go away. Then the doctor tells me because I'm a vegan, I didn't have the nutrients in my body to sustain the pregnancy. I was deficient in X, Y and Z. So fast forward....for a little over a month, I have been so sick. Not eating due to nausea, muscle aches, headaches and bruising heavily. Go to a doctor, get sent to a specialist and last week I went and had an endoscopy. I have erosive gastritis. I'm on medicine for 3 months. If anyone reading has ever been TTC (trying to conceive) you know the process of cycle day counting. Basically you chart out ovulation based on your menstrual cycle. So July 3rd, 1st day of the cycle. July 17th, 14th day of cycle and the "sweet" day. Well, then something strange happens. Day 18, period starts? SAY WHAT? WTF!? 10 days early? No period symptoms? 0 cramps? Now that makes no sense what-so-ever. So I call up my doctor. At this point we are on 1st name basis and her nurse and I should be best friends now. So I told her what was going on, she asked personal questions and then asked me how I was doing with the miscarriage and dealing with my emotions. I said, "I think better...I feel better." Then she drops it on me...."It sounds like you're having a miscarriage. Maybe a few weeks along, not far enough to be detected by a test." That oh-familiar feeling comes back. I feel sorry for the doctors that have to tell women they have lost their child. I couldn't imagine hearing that much grief from someone on a daily basis. I actually handled it well on the phone. And for a few hours after that...I was ok. My thinking is, well I didn't know so it isn't as bad. And that's true for the most part, I didn't know. I didn't have the joy and images dancing through my head like the 1st time. But then....that could have been my baby. AGH and this is where it gets so hard. Do I grieve and let it out? Or does that make me weak for crying over something that I didn't even know about? And the same questions are back...Why me? Why again? Why give it to me and take it back? Why even deal with trying anymore? What's the point? Over and over and over again. This makes dealing with people so hard...impossible. Everyone else's happiness just makes me even more mad. Even though no one knows the pain I'm dealing with. Today, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel or even believe that there is one anymore.

Ok. That is my story. It's not a happy one and today I look back at this year and just think of how nothing good has come from any of it (I am exaggerating a bit.) But that's how I feel today.
Sorry for the sad post but maybe someone can read this who has been in the same situation and give me a comforting word.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

One of Those Days

You ever have those days where you just wake up HAPPY! Like genuinely happy with life. That is how I woke up this morning, nothing can get me down today. It's such an amazing feeling that I haven't felt in a while. So on my training, I am epically failing. I haven't laced up my shoes in a few days and I know I need to get on that! I am so excited for the Warrior Dash to get here, August 24th can't get here fast enough. This will be my 1st "fun" run and I can't wait to experience it. I say "fun" because I think all races are fun. I don't take them serious (at this point anyway) so I go out there and just have fun. Plus, the after party sounds like it's going to be a really good time....a free beer, turkey legs and muddy warriors? I am down all day long. I haven't figured out if I'm going to stay the night down where the race is since it's about 2.5 hours away from home. How do y'all do that? Do you stay if it's a few hours away from your home? Like a mini-vacation?

On another note, I can officially say I am an ex-vegan. :( I have been vegan a little over a year and sadly my body cannot handle it. Even with all the correct supplements, I have had enough medical issues. Along with my errosive gastritis (that leaves me feeling like my entire stomach is on fire all day long), I am always anemic and I lost a baby over it. As hard as I fought to live this lifestyle, it's fighting me back harder that I can withstand. So I am slowly introducing beef back into my diet. I don't know if I will ever bring pork back, I have no desire to eat pork. As for dairy, I'm still on the fence. I know how well my body works without dairy but I also know the research done on soy consumption. It feels so weird because I have fought for this cause for what seems like a long time. Although I never pushed my beliefs on others, I always stated facts and let them make the decision. But in my doctors advice, I am changing my diet. Hopefully this will help get me some nutrients in my body and make me feel like my old self. I will not be looking back on 2013 with fond memeries thats for sure. 13 was never my lucky number anyways.

Whew that was a lot to get off my chest. So I'm hoping today I can get in a few (like 4) miles if it's not hot as the devil outside. I've also been practicing yoga every night now. I love just flowing free and doing what I want. Pushing my limits (and hopefully not breaking my neck.) I want to do a free standing handstand but for now I need the wall or a helping hand. One day....that's what goals are about. Yes, I want the end reslut. But I am making sure to look at all the moments in between because that my friends, is your life! Every failure and the pain is what you're going to look back on when you reach your goal (because I know you will, sooner or later, reach your goals!) Also, speaking of fitness I want to go hiking. I have recruited a friend and I think we are going. I haven't been in years and I just want to go hiking up something, reaching the top, then climbing back down! The excitement is enough to knock me over!!

Oh and I am SO SO excited for fall! I mean, more excited than a person should be for a season. But I am! I love the weather, the smell, the clothes, Thanksgiving AND of course the most important part of fall; PUMPKIN SPICE EVERYTHING! ;) I am planning in my head already the wonderful food I'm going to be cooking and the house smelling like pumpkin and cinnamon. Ahh....who else is excited for this? I mean, super-duper excited? I hope I'm not the only one who fantasizes about the things I'll do when fall gets here. Oh and the longest wait of the year will be over (FOOTBALL!!)

Ok so as you see my tangent post is complete. Well I'll post a few pictures I liked on Pinterest because....well it's my blog and I can :) I hope everyone's Tuesday is going just as fantastic as mine!!!

Enough Said!
I read this and got instant chills!
Chocolate cake into muscle? LOVE IT

My favorite quote about running: It never takes more than it gives back!
Question of the day: Pick a seaon...any season and tell me why you're so passionate about it?!
What is your favorite running quotes?

Friday, July 19, 2013

I Feel Like I'm Back In Middle School!

Happy FRIDAY! I never thought this day would arrive and now that it has I am so happy I can't contain myself! I want to run and jump and yell exciting catch phrases. (The running and jumping are off limits for now; 6" wedges at work and exciting-ness do not mix!) Ah but now I can't get the underline off on this blog so looks like the whole blog post will be like this. So antyways....lets get on to the reason I feel like I'm in middle school. I'm sure we all remember the Myspace days and the NUMEROUS surveys we filled out on that website. To look back at it now and look into the mind of my 14-16 year old self would be great. Just to remember the feeling I had, the boys I had a crush on! I don't even remember how Myspace faded away but I woke up one day and Facebook was the greatest thing since sliced bread. (I guess people got really excited over not having to slice bread themselves, I would have to-back in the day-because now if I slice bread it ends up about a 1/4" thick.) Sad I know....but without any more digressions lets move on to the real reason we are all here: THE SURVEY! I "borrowed" it from Charlotte over at Commitness to Fitness. Her blog is always hilariously funny and her post make my week!  
Without further ado (in my elegant underlined fashion!)

5 Things I’m Passionate About

1. Running.

2. Yoga.

3. Cooking.

4. Brantley Gilbert ;)

5. Social Networks.
@Justaskinnybtch (Twitter)
Justafitbtch (Instagram)

5 things I’d Like To Do Before I Die

1. Travel.
2. Run the Boston Marathon.

3. Master a foreign language.

4. Be happy in my own skin.

5. Learn to listen more than I talk.

5 Things I Say A Lot

1. Bless your heart.

2. Are you kiddin me?
3. Ice venti soy chai tea latte
4. huh? (I even have a face that goes along with this one!)
5. Sure. Yes. Ok. (I have a hard time saying NO!)

5 Books I’ve Read Lately
1. A Walk To Remember (I know, how am I just now reading this?! Where have I been?)

2. Another Nicolas Spark book that I'm really not that into.

3. V.C. Andrews (Name? I have no idea)
4. Another V.C. Andrews book (Again, no name!)

5. 50 Shades of Grey book. (There's a big time difference from this to the V.C. Andrews book!)

5 Favorite Movies

1. Footloose (The original always!)

2. 16 Candles

3. The Lorax (Don't say anything, I know if you've seen it you sang along.)

Plus doesn't this quote just ring with so much truth?

4. Texas Chainsaw Massacre

5. Grease

5 Places I’d Love To Travel To

1. Australia
2. Greece
3. South America
4. Alaska


So question of the day: Pick one of these categories and tell me about yourself!! If you have any good reads, please tell me!

Thursday, July 18, 2013

And We Have A Solution!

Finally, after weeks of agony and the unknown, yesterday's endoscopy gave me the result I so desperately needed. Turns out I have erosive gastritis.The link will explain it better than I can, but basically my stomach in inflammed big time and eroded. Why? I have no idea. One of the reason is the use of aspirin or aspirin containing medicine. I take an aspirin every day but I would hate to think my doctor would tell me to do something that would put me at an even bigger risk. Pernicious anemia makes a little more sense to me because I am anemic but I will know the results of the biopsy tomorrow. Hopefully there is no infection and the medicine I have to take for the next 3 months will clear it up! I'm just so glad we found an answer and even though it's not something to get excited about, it's what I needed. I feel like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Plus, the sedative they gave me pretty much knocked me out all day. I was awake for about 6 hours yesterday so I am well rested today.
So today I wanted to go over my training schedule for my 10K in September. Tuesday I ran almost 3 miles in 34 minutes (bad mile time!) The humidity that has engulfed the US makes it feel like I'm trudging through peanut butter to get my runs in.
I was sweating like never before but it felt great! It was like a detox and I tried not to beat myself up over the time. I have to keep telling myself that I am still sick and I will be for a while. Yesterday I went out for another run, this time to go get my car from my doctors office. It was a great way to sneak in a run and killing 2 birds with 1 stone. Yes I could have gotten a ride but why not run? I made it to my car in 36 minutes in 2.27 miles. Again, not the best mile time but I was just happy to have been out there trying. As for my training, I'm looking at running 5 days a week, increasing my miles through the week. I realized on my Tuesday run that after about mile 1.5, running constant becomes easier. So my plan for the beginning of the race is to do a mile and 1/2 warm up before actually running. Does anyone else feel like they get stronger after warming up? Is a 1 1/2 mile too far to "warm-up?" So I plan on getting 5 miles in today and then 6 miles in tomorrow. Until I get my new pair of runner, I will be going back to my old reliable shoes. The new Nike's will only cause injuries that I don't feel like dealing with. I am also going to invest in a pair of compression socks and practice run with them to see if they make any difference.
So recap, up until the week of the race I am going to be running about 22 miles a week. This may increase depending on my mood and the weather. On Mondays and Tuesdays, I may increase from 3 miles if I'm really feeling it. My goal is to finish the 10K in under 1:10; maybe even under an hour! (A girl can dream, right?)

This says it perfectly! Anytime I am feeling bad about my time I will look at this and remember as runners we are all in this together. We all have the same purpose, to get to the finish. And whether you reach the end in 30 minutes or 2 hours, we all have the same goal!! And the fact that we are all out there doing this crazy thing called running, should be pride enough!
More running quotes just to boost my motivation and hopefully motivate you, my lovely readers!!


Question of the day: Send me your motivation. What makes you get up and go at 5AM or when you don't feel like running in the 100 degree humidity? What makes you get out and go?