Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Happy Hump-Day Thoughts!

Just some random thoughts running through my mind this morning:

1: Why am I eating ANOTHER pack of Reese's peanut butter cups? Last night I had a king size pack (that's 4 for all the fitties out there who aren't bouncing down the loserville path to fatness!) And today I had a normal sized pack (2) right after my oatmeal. A balanced breakfast right? And what's even worse...I had peanut butter cups! They taste like artificial peanut butter filled pockets of sadness.
I could devour all of these...NOW!
2: Liz, why are you stressing everything? STOP! RIGHT NOW! (Yes I'm yelling at myself.) I have the worst habit of analyzing situations that will probably never happen. Like years in advance. I know I need to focus on the here and now but that's easier said than done for me. And the thing is, sometimes, in the midst of my "over reaction" I feel like I'm looking at myself thinking..."What is your problem? Calm your a$% down!" I am working through it today and just telling myself to trust whatever God has in plan for me. Nothing I do is more important than what he is doing for me and my life! So, to myself, stop stressing and enjoy the moments. These are the good times...sit back and enjoy the ride!!
If the fairy godmother says it, I must listen!
3: I want tattoos and I want them right now! I don't even want to think about it. If you don't have any, I would advise against getting any at all. Because when they say you can't have just one, they ARE NOT lying to you! It is an addiction...and I don't ever want to be cured. I am perfectly happy with this addiction...the pain goes away fairly fast (depending on location.) For me the pain stops as soon as the needle does. And a few minutes later, I'm ready for another one. I have 2 so far! Here are just a few of the ones I have my eye on.
Just beautiful!
For my well being and yogi love! :)
For me, this is the meaning behind life. Find your passion in this world and let it kill you.

This would go on my shoulder and would be the start to my sleeve!
Ah the addiction! The love!
Today is about finding my inner peace and being ok with the uncertain. I have to realize I never know when my time is up, so why spend any moment unhappy? Or at least not stress over everything!! Clarity is amazing!
Question: Tell me a thought you are having today?! Weird. Silly. Serious. I want to hear them all :)


Tuesday, July 30, 2013

What Do I Do Now?

Ok, if you do not love this woman you can leave this blog now! (No, seriously who doesn't love Zoey?) Since Saturday, I have found myself sucked into Netflix watching the entire 1st season of New Girl. I know, I am a little behind but I'm caught up now! And I'm hooked. Last night I finished watching the last episode and I had to look around and ask, what to do with my life now? I have been lost in this show for 3 days now....oh yea maybe I should start back on my training since I now have 25 days until the warrior dash. You heard me right 25 DAYS! Where is the time going my friends? I could not be more pumped up and excited about this race, mentally. Physically, I am getting fluffy in places I hate fluff and I silently hear my muscles deteriorating while I try to sleep. SO i have to kick my training into TURBO drive and really start kicking my own ass. I have lost accountability but no worries my friend. We all fall off the wagon, I will get back on!!
It's almost August?! Why didn't anyone warn me that the older I get, the faster time goes. Not during the day because my office job is like the pits of hell (I can imagine with all that heat the day goes pretty slow), but looking back it's all a blur. A big, confused filled blur that will forever go down in the history books as THE WORST YEAR ever. But in all seriousness, where is the time going. I keep looking ahead thinking...Christmas is only 5 months away now! And I despise Christmas. Not the holiday per say but the way people act around Christmas.

Wow, this blog is getting random fast!! What my point is supposed to be is I need a new focus in life. I have long ago come to the conclusion that office work was not for me and I really want to do something in the fitness industry. Professional bikini modeling is always an idea....but I would actually have to be able to wear a bikini for that to happen. I want to teach, motivate, take my passion for fitness and place it gently upon others shoulders. Is that too much to ask? So basically, I want to be a trainer. A yoga teacher? Maybe I even want to cook and teach others how to eat healthy.

You see my dilemma. Also, I haven't researched any of this. I know some take degrees....I'll go to school. And they take money....that resource is limited to almost everyone but I could make it work. Time....well I have some of that free and I've never been shy of a lot going on at once. Just where to begin. I'll start will finding out how much time and money these things will take. I could be a super time master and do them all at once ;) buuuttt...that's not going to happen. I will do some research and then write about how and what it will take to do all of these things. Oh, how I love research :)

So today, I will pull together all my resources and I will figure out which option is practical in my life. If I have to be a full time student, that isn't practical. If it cost hundreds of dollars, again not practical. But we shall see!

Question of the day: How are you guys? Still hanging on the wagon for dear life? Do you know anything about getting into the fitness field?

Thursday, July 25, 2013

The Tough Side of Blogging

When I started this blog, I had to choose between blogging strictly about fitness and health or including personal aspects from my life in it. Today I will open up and share with you an experience....maybe my words will help someone else or someone else's words can help me. This is not fitness related and is a touchy subject for some so if you want now, turn around and leave! I will be back with fitness post soon!
So here we go....a glimpse inside!

Yesterday my strength was test beyond any point I ever imagined. If you've been following along with my journey you will know I've had quite a few medical issues this year. To the point that I will not look back on 2013 with many fond memories. In January, I conceived. To say this was a shock would be an understatement. At this point, we had been trying for 2 years to get pregnant. After the shock wore off there was PURE BLISS! I had this child's life planned in a single day. I did everything in my power to make my body as healthy as possible. No processed food, only organic food, only the best prenatal vitamins plus all other vitamins and supplements the doctor recommended. Being a vegan and being pregnant wasn't ideal but I stuck to my beliefs. I was so exhausted all the time; being pregnant, working and taking care of 2 kids was not good on my body at all. I could never get enough energy, sometimes breathing was hard. But I cherished every moment of it. I don't think my hand left my stomach for 3 1/2 months. After all the testing, medicine, shots, and negative pregnancy test, this was everything I ever wanted and more! Nothing could bring me down from this cloud. On April 15th we went in to hear the heartbeat and get an ultrasound. As I'm laying on the table, more nervous and excited than I've been in my whole life, nothing happens. The doctor gives me a quick worried look and the suggest an ultrasound. With the excuse that my cervix sits too far back, she left the room to order the ultrasound. At 2pm, I went back in for the abdominal ultrasound. After 15 minutes of searching, nothing. "Well maybe you just aren't as far along as we think." Those words do little to reassure me as I feel the tears crawling up my throat. The next step was a vaginal ultrasound. 20 minutes later I am sent upstairs to wait for the results. As I type this, I relive the moment when she told me the pregnancy was viable. As the words come out of her mouth I broke down. I couldn't hold it in anymore. This was the 1st time I have literally felt my heart break. I knew at that moment, my life would never be the same. Anyone who has ever been through this knows the exact feeling I am talking about! Nothing will ever fix that hurt. The very next day, I get the phone call comes from NC that my great-grandma had passed away. I was so mad at everything at this point. I was so pissed off I didn't sleep, I didn't eat...I mourned in the worst way possible. On Monday, I started miscarrying. After 2 weeks of bleeding, it got so bad I went to the ER. By the time I got there, I was severely anemic and I needed an emergency D & C to stop the bleeding. I was in the hospital about 10 hours and had to go home. Having lost my baby was bad enough; having to deal with it every d&*^ day is enough to make anyone lose their mind. It's a constant reminder that you will never get to be a mother. The one thing you always wanted has been ripped away from you. How is this even fair? Why me? And peoples "words of wisdom" only pissed me off more. "Well maybe there was something wrong with it." "It will happen when it's supposed to." "God this and God that." Nothing anyone says makes the pain better. The pain will never go away. Then the doctor tells me because I'm a vegan, I didn't have the nutrients in my body to sustain the pregnancy. I was deficient in X, Y and Z. So fast forward....for a little over a month, I have been so sick. Not eating due to nausea, muscle aches, headaches and bruising heavily. Go to a doctor, get sent to a specialist and last week I went and had an endoscopy. I have erosive gastritis. I'm on medicine for 3 months. If anyone reading has ever been TTC (trying to conceive) you know the process of cycle day counting. Basically you chart out ovulation based on your menstrual cycle. So July 3rd, 1st day of the cycle. July 17th, 14th day of cycle and the "sweet" day. Well, then something strange happens. Day 18, period starts? SAY WHAT? WTF!? 10 days early? No period symptoms? 0 cramps? Now that makes no sense what-so-ever. So I call up my doctor. At this point we are on 1st name basis and her nurse and I should be best friends now. So I told her what was going on, she asked personal questions and then asked me how I was doing with the miscarriage and dealing with my emotions. I said, "I think better...I feel better." Then she drops it on me...."It sounds like you're having a miscarriage. Maybe a few weeks along, not far enough to be detected by a test." That oh-familiar feeling comes back. I feel sorry for the doctors that have to tell women they have lost their child. I couldn't imagine hearing that much grief from someone on a daily basis. I actually handled it well on the phone. And for a few hours after that...I was ok. My thinking is, well I didn't know so it isn't as bad. And that's true for the most part, I didn't know. I didn't have the joy and images dancing through my head like the 1st time. But then....that could have been my baby. AGH and this is where it gets so hard. Do I grieve and let it out? Or does that make me weak for crying over something that I didn't even know about? And the same questions are back...Why me? Why again? Why give it to me and take it back? Why even deal with trying anymore? What's the point? Over and over and over again. This makes dealing with people so hard...impossible. Everyone else's happiness just makes me even more mad. Even though no one knows the pain I'm dealing with. Today, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel or even believe that there is one anymore.

Ok. That is my story. It's not a happy one and today I look back at this year and just think of how nothing good has come from any of it (I am exaggerating a bit.) But that's how I feel today.
Sorry for the sad post but maybe someone can read this who has been in the same situation and give me a comforting word.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

One of Those Days

You ever have those days where you just wake up HAPPY! Like genuinely happy with life. That is how I woke up this morning, nothing can get me down today. It's such an amazing feeling that I haven't felt in a while. So on my training, I am epically failing. I haven't laced up my shoes in a few days and I know I need to get on that! I am so excited for the Warrior Dash to get here, August 24th can't get here fast enough. This will be my 1st "fun" run and I can't wait to experience it. I say "fun" because I think all races are fun. I don't take them serious (at this point anyway) so I go out there and just have fun. Plus, the after party sounds like it's going to be a really good time....a free beer, turkey legs and muddy warriors? I am down all day long. I haven't figured out if I'm going to stay the night down where the race is since it's about 2.5 hours away from home. How do y'all do that? Do you stay if it's a few hours away from your home? Like a mini-vacation?

On another note, I can officially say I am an ex-vegan. :( I have been vegan a little over a year and sadly my body cannot handle it. Even with all the correct supplements, I have had enough medical issues. Along with my errosive gastritis (that leaves me feeling like my entire stomach is on fire all day long), I am always anemic and I lost a baby over it. As hard as I fought to live this lifestyle, it's fighting me back harder that I can withstand. So I am slowly introducing beef back into my diet. I don't know if I will ever bring pork back, I have no desire to eat pork. As for dairy, I'm still on the fence. I know how well my body works without dairy but I also know the research done on soy consumption. It feels so weird because I have fought for this cause for what seems like a long time. Although I never pushed my beliefs on others, I always stated facts and let them make the decision. But in my doctors advice, I am changing my diet. Hopefully this will help get me some nutrients in my body and make me feel like my old self. I will not be looking back on 2013 with fond memeries thats for sure. 13 was never my lucky number anyways.

Whew that was a lot to get off my chest. So I'm hoping today I can get in a few (like 4) miles if it's not hot as the devil outside. I've also been practicing yoga every night now. I love just flowing free and doing what I want. Pushing my limits (and hopefully not breaking my neck.) I want to do a free standing handstand but for now I need the wall or a helping hand. One day....that's what goals are about. Yes, I want the end reslut. But I am making sure to look at all the moments in between because that my friends, is your life! Every failure and the pain is what you're going to look back on when you reach your goal (because I know you will, sooner or later, reach your goals!) Also, speaking of fitness I want to go hiking. I have recruited a friend and I think we are going. I haven't been in years and I just want to go hiking up something, reaching the top, then climbing back down! The excitement is enough to knock me over!!

Oh and I am SO SO excited for fall! I mean, more excited than a person should be for a season. But I am! I love the weather, the smell, the clothes, Thanksgiving AND of course the most important part of fall; PUMPKIN SPICE EVERYTHING! ;) I am planning in my head already the wonderful food I'm going to be cooking and the house smelling like pumpkin and cinnamon. Ahh....who else is excited for this? I mean, super-duper excited? I hope I'm not the only one who fantasizes about the things I'll do when fall gets here. Oh and the longest wait of the year will be over (FOOTBALL!!)

Ok so as you see my tangent post is complete. Well I'll post a few pictures I liked on Pinterest because....well it's my blog and I can :) I hope everyone's Tuesday is going just as fantastic as mine!!!

Enough Said!
I read this and got instant chills!
Chocolate cake into muscle? LOVE IT

My favorite quote about running: It never takes more than it gives back!
Question of the day: Pick a seaon...any season and tell me why you're so passionate about it?!
What is your favorite running quotes?

Friday, July 19, 2013

I Feel Like I'm Back In Middle School!

Happy FRIDAY! I never thought this day would arrive and now that it has I am so happy I can't contain myself! I want to run and jump and yell exciting catch phrases. (The running and jumping are off limits for now; 6" wedges at work and exciting-ness do not mix!) Ah but now I can't get the underline off on this blog so looks like the whole blog post will be like this. So antyways....lets get on to the reason I feel like I'm in middle school. I'm sure we all remember the Myspace days and the NUMEROUS surveys we filled out on that website. To look back at it now and look into the mind of my 14-16 year old self would be great. Just to remember the feeling I had, the boys I had a crush on! I don't even remember how Myspace faded away but I woke up one day and Facebook was the greatest thing since sliced bread. (I guess people got really excited over not having to slice bread themselves, I would have to-back in the day-because now if I slice bread it ends up about a 1/4" thick.) Sad I know....but without any more digressions lets move on to the real reason we are all here: THE SURVEY! I "borrowed" it from Charlotte over at Commitness to Fitness. Her blog is always hilariously funny and her post make my week!  
Without further ado (in my elegant underlined fashion!)

5 Things I’m Passionate About

1. Running.

2. Yoga.

3. Cooking.

4. Brantley Gilbert ;)

5. Social Networks.
@Justaskinnybtch (Twitter)
Justafitbtch (Instagram)

5 things I’d Like To Do Before I Die

1. Travel.
2. Run the Boston Marathon.

3. Master a foreign language.

4. Be happy in my own skin.

5. Learn to listen more than I talk.

5 Things I Say A Lot

1. Bless your heart.

2. Are you kiddin me?
3. Ice venti soy chai tea latte
4. huh? (I even have a face that goes along with this one!)
5. Sure. Yes. Ok. (I have a hard time saying NO!)

5 Books I’ve Read Lately
1. A Walk To Remember (I know, how am I just now reading this?! Where have I been?)

2. Another Nicolas Spark book that I'm really not that into.

3. V.C. Andrews (Name? I have no idea)
4. Another V.C. Andrews book (Again, no name!)

5. 50 Shades of Grey book. (There's a big time difference from this to the V.C. Andrews book!)

5 Favorite Movies

1. Footloose (The original always!)

2. 16 Candles

3. The Lorax (Don't say anything, I know if you've seen it you sang along.)

Plus doesn't this quote just ring with so much truth?

4. Texas Chainsaw Massacre

5. Grease

5 Places I’d Love To Travel To

1. Australia
2. Greece
3. South America
4. Alaska


So question of the day: Pick one of these categories and tell me about yourself!! If you have any good reads, please tell me!

Thursday, July 18, 2013

And We Have A Solution!

Finally, after weeks of agony and the unknown, yesterday's endoscopy gave me the result I so desperately needed. Turns out I have erosive gastritis.The link will explain it better than I can, but basically my stomach in inflammed big time and eroded. Why? I have no idea. One of the reason is the use of aspirin or aspirin containing medicine. I take an aspirin every day but I would hate to think my doctor would tell me to do something that would put me at an even bigger risk. Pernicious anemia makes a little more sense to me because I am anemic but I will know the results of the biopsy tomorrow. Hopefully there is no infection and the medicine I have to take for the next 3 months will clear it up! I'm just so glad we found an answer and even though it's not something to get excited about, it's what I needed. I feel like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. Plus, the sedative they gave me pretty much knocked me out all day. I was awake for about 6 hours yesterday so I am well rested today.
So today I wanted to go over my training schedule for my 10K in September. Tuesday I ran almost 3 miles in 34 minutes (bad mile time!) The humidity that has engulfed the US makes it feel like I'm trudging through peanut butter to get my runs in.
I was sweating like never before but it felt great! It was like a detox and I tried not to beat myself up over the time. I have to keep telling myself that I am still sick and I will be for a while. Yesterday I went out for another run, this time to go get my car from my doctors office. It was a great way to sneak in a run and killing 2 birds with 1 stone. Yes I could have gotten a ride but why not run? I made it to my car in 36 minutes in 2.27 miles. Again, not the best mile time but I was just happy to have been out there trying. As for my training, I'm looking at running 5 days a week, increasing my miles through the week. I realized on my Tuesday run that after about mile 1.5, running constant becomes easier. So my plan for the beginning of the race is to do a mile and 1/2 warm up before actually running. Does anyone else feel like they get stronger after warming up? Is a 1 1/2 mile too far to "warm-up?" So I plan on getting 5 miles in today and then 6 miles in tomorrow. Until I get my new pair of runner, I will be going back to my old reliable shoes. The new Nike's will only cause injuries that I don't feel like dealing with. I am also going to invest in a pair of compression socks and practice run with them to see if they make any difference.
So recap, up until the week of the race I am going to be running about 22 miles a week. This may increase depending on my mood and the weather. On Mondays and Tuesdays, I may increase from 3 miles if I'm really feeling it. My goal is to finish the 10K in under 1:10; maybe even under an hour! (A girl can dream, right?)

This says it perfectly! Anytime I am feeling bad about my time I will look at this and remember as runners we are all in this together. We all have the same purpose, to get to the finish. And whether you reach the end in 30 minutes or 2 hours, we all have the same goal!! And the fact that we are all out there doing this crazy thing called running, should be pride enough!
More running quotes just to boost my motivation and hopefully motivate you, my lovely readers!!


Question of the day: Send me your motivation. What makes you get up and go at 5AM or when you don't feel like running in the 100 degree humidity? What makes you get out and go?


Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Sort of Fitness Related!

I read this on Pinterest this morning and it just really stuck with me. These past few weeks have been ones of reflecting, deciding and praying. Also, there has been a lot of body shaming. Due to whatever is medically wrong with me, my body has turned into a disaster. Not so much for how it looks but for the lack of what it can do at this point. I'm sure if I went to the gym today and tried to lift anything over 5 lbs it would be impossible. And that makes me miserably sad. As I'm beating myself up over the things that are going on in my personal life, it's so hard to regain focus on my goals and dreams in my fitness life. Today I am going to get with Katie and we are going to workout a little. Either go for a run or do a yoga DVD together. I find it easier to get back into the swing of things if I have someone there to talk to. Right now, I can't shut my mind completely off in order to focus solely on fitness, so having her there will give me a way to vent. I just looked at the calendar and seen I have 6 weeks of training before the Warrior Dash comes up on the 24th of August. After that is the Park to Park 10K and I caught wind of a Zombie Run going on in October (I mean, who could pass this up!) So I need to get yesterday! I actually have a little motivation back so I am ready to start training every day for the next 6 weeks. :)
In other news, Friday I went to Sol Yoga in Cedar Falls, IA. It is my go-to stress reliever and I love this place. Everything about it is perfect. While I do have favorite instructors, all of them do a great job and I have yet to take a class that I didn't love. Also, the 5PM class on Friday is only $5 so I take full advantage. It will now be a weekly thing because who doesn't want to relax and unwind after a long week? This week in class I did my first ever handstand and people, I AM ADDICTED. I want to live my life upside down from this point on. Have you ever tried something new (a new lifting move, yoga move, HIIT) that you feel in love with and knew you would do it...well forever? Well this is how this was and I cannot wait to practice and improve to the point I can do it free of the wall.
Also, I have made the decision to switch gyms, which is exciting. I am getting better a little day after day which gives me some hope. I have another procedure, an endoscopy so they can go inside and see if there is anything abnormal going on! I'm hoping this will be the last test they have to do. So hopes and prayers my way please and I will be back to posting about fitness related stuff soon!! :)

Question of the day: How do you get back on the wagon when you fall off, whether its medical reason or personal choice?

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

So....An Update

Sorry for the lack of communication. Life is a little, topsie-turvey if I can say that. My health problems are not getting any better and with more negative test results to say I'm frustrated would be the understatment of the year! I know when this passes, I am going to cherish every "good and healthy" day because it has been a year of constant health struggles! I feel like all the progress I have made in the past years with fitness and my body are dissolving right in front of me. I can't help but ask why me and try to figure out how this is even fair but I know there are people out there that have it a lot worse than I do so I look at the positives.
Today has been an ok day as far as eating goes. The headaches are starting to kick in and my muscles hurt when I sit too long now but I am going to try to get a run in after work. I have the Warrior Dash coming up and I need to train so bad. I go to the gastroenterologist on Monday and I'm really hoping he can tell me something. I don't know if feeling this way is worse than not knowing or vice vesa. Either way I want it to end. I am trying not to beat myself up too bad that I haven't been to the gym in almost a month but that's hard too. When you really get into the fitness life, it's impossible to let it take the backseat even when it is medically neccesary. So this is what I've been up to; dealing with enough personal issues and medical issues to last a lifetime. I promise to be back to my fitness post soon...I'm hoping Monday I will get some sort of news and a direction to head in for recovery. In the meantime, cheer me up by sharing your new workouts or any new work out gear you've purchased. I am about to take a huge step and purchase a pair of Mizuno runners and I'm very nervous but excited at the same time. I'm ready for big girl runners, just wish the cost wasn't so high. But from the reviews and "test driving" them, I am convinced the reward is well worth the price.

Question of the day: Do any of you run in Mizuno shoes? What's your favorite "go-to" shoe brand for running?

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Happy 4th of July!

Ya! For freedom and liberty and the pursuit of happiness! I am so glad to live in the US, where I have the freedom to look how I want and run anywhere I feel like it :) it's such a blessing, the little things! 
Sorry I have been away. I am dealing with some sort of illness, they haven't figured it out yet but I've been dealing with that for 2 weeks now! :( this year has been a rough one for me but I'm remaining positive! I'm still running, not as much and not as far. I have put lifting on the back burner for now...the way I'm feeling and the unknown of what's wrong I'm not willing to push myself too hard and possibly get worse! But it will resume I promise. For tonight we will be going to see some fireworks and celebrate the 4th :) 

Question of the day: How are you spending your 4th? Any workouts? Let me know :)